Sarah
by Leader of the Odd Squad
Summary: This is a monologue of a man who becomes obsessed with a coworker which eventually ruins his life. I have had many people read this and they all have different perspectives on the ending. How do you see it ending? Too much love or a planned love?


Sarah

Sarah… Sarah… That name, _her_ name resonates inside of me as I watch from afar. She is my coworker, but in _my_ reality she is my sun; the cause which lights up my night and sky. As she is my sun and like the sun, she is what I need but cannot touch. I can look at her, watch her, and stare at her but the closer I get the more I fear of getting hurt. Sarah, why are you so vibrant? If I touch you, would I dim your light? As the days pass by, I find myself looking your way and admiring every bit of you. Your smile, your laugh, the way your eyes twinkle as you greet me in the mornings. You make me feel something I have not felt before and in return, you are very special to me residing inside both my heart and mind. Because of you, I've become a poet like William Shakespeare. You are my Romeo… O' Sarah, o' Sarah. Wherefore art thou Sarah? How can I make you mine? We have so much in common and you get my humor. We like so many of the same things and would like to visit the same places. I want to take you away with me to a place where no one can find us. I now believe in fate and destiny. Fate is what lead you to me and destiny is what lead me to you. It cannot be more perfect than this. I know you are my one and I am yours, but it doesn't seem like you have realized that yet. How can I make you see?

I'm starting to crave for your presence. Closer and closer I want to become. Logic is no longer understandable to me. I want to be near you, I want to be close to you, I want to be with you… No, I _want_ you. I keep fighting back these urges, but my will is no longer capable of holding back. To calm my nerves I seek for even a glance of you. Every hour, every minute, and every second is torture without you. I'm at my wit's end and my willpower has succumbed to my desire. I approach your house with hopes of seeing you. Quietly checking every window in anticipation to see your magnificent existence. Suddenly, I hear your angelic laughter coming from the upstairs window. The closer I get to you, the faster my heart pounds. Unconsciously, I end up below a window and the lights are on. Somehow I just know you are there. Adjacent to the window is a great oak tree. I climb the tree without a second thought. Many times I could have fallen, but the thought of seeing you has numbed me from any physical pain I could encounter. Rapidly I rise with all of my might, I find myself outside of your window. There you are sitting on your bed talking on the phone. You look so happy, so cheerful, and so delighted. I imagine you're talking to me and my mind is sent to heaven. I wished this moment would never stop, but at last, I must return home so I may start a new day; and with a new day there is more time I can spend with you. With that thought in my mind, I head for home.

Lying in bed my mind starts wandering towards the dark side. I start to wonder who you were talking to. Why you were talking to this person in a different manner from which you've spoken to me? Who is this person who makes you smile more vividly than I have ever seen you smile? Who is this person who can make you laugh so loud and at the same time blush as red as hot chili peppers? Is this a _rival_? I toss and turn all night and still with no answer, the night is over and it has become a new morning. We meet once again at work. You greet me as you always do, but my heart cannot be swayed. I feel betrayed and cheated. Who was the person you were talking to? I don't have the courage to speak and with no explanation of my knowledge, I return a greeting and continue with my work. The day passes quickly and as you head for the door on your way out, my body moves on its own. With my mind failing to find reasonable answers about who you spoke with on the phone, I grab your arm and pull you towards me. Hands strongly gripped on both shoulders and deeply staring into your eyes I start to shout,

"Who is this other person?! Why can't it be me?! Why can you not see the truth and the reason why we met?! Don't lie to me. I saw you with these very eyes betraying what we had and what we could have. I won't treat you wrong. Come to me. I _need_ you."

You are frozen and trembling in terror. I come back to my senses. I apologize over and over but that look you gave me, I cannot forget. Slowly backing away from me with tears in your eyes, you turn around, and leave in silence. I drop to the floor with sharp pains in my heart. I know what I have done and I ruined every chance I had over some petty jealousy. I leave for home hoping nobody witnessed what happened. The next morning I receive a call from work asking to come in and talk to the boss. If I lose this job, I lose my only way to see you again. I start to panic and decide to stay home. I can't look at you in the eyes after what I have done.

Days have passed and with several messages on my voice mail system, I have been terminated from my job. You put a restraining order against me, I can't see you anymore. Curled in my bed I wallow in depression all day. Weeks have passed now and with no income, I am unable to pay for my bills and dues so I leave my home in search for my soul. Everything around me reminds me of you, Sarah. The last moment I remember of you shaking in horror only draws me closer to the decision to end my life. I just want to apologize. While walking aimlessly I see you coming out of a department store. You catch me in your sights and run the opposite direction. I follow you hoping I get a chance to redeem myself. You run into a dead end. I sigh in relief that I finally get a chance to talk to you. You start desperately screaming for help.

"No, no Sarah I don't want to hurt you."

My mind goes blank trying to decide whether I should continue probably my last chat with you or if I should leave before anyone assumes the worst. Suddenly, I get pushed down to the ground with a bright light in my face. Ah, the police are here. As they arrest me and push me towards the back seat of their vehicle, I see you standing with your legs about to give out and tears in your eyes. I'm sorry, Sarah… I'm truly deeply sorry.

After several weeks my trial has come to an end. As I am taken outside the courtroom, I see you sitting with the audience. You give me a slight smile.

I see… This is what you wanted.

 ***KNOCK* *KNOCK* *KNOCK***

I am awoken from a dream. I'm in a room with walls of white and a solid metal door in front of me. I hear a stranger call out from the other side of the door.

"Time for your medication."

I try moving my arms, but I can't. I look down and see my arms are wrapped around me through the sleeves of the shirt I'm wearing and clipped on the back. Everything is cloaked in white. So this is the end of my story about you… about Sarah.

 **The End**


End file.
